Julie Noparstak, LCSW

“The only journey is the journey within.” – Rainer Maria Rilke

It is through our body and senses that we learn about the world and form relationships with others.  Ideally, self-awareness is something that grows, expands, and changes as we move through all the experiences of our lives. Are we connected to our feelings every day? Do we have conversations with ourselves about our experiences, how we want to structure our days, plan for our futures, and manage our lives? This inner dialogue can be nurtured and developed at any time, and the process of getting there varies. Some are drawn to meditation, while others participate in a spiritual or religious community, seek a counselor’s guidance, journal, or turn to books, podcasts, and blogs. 

Meditation is the among the surest ways of staying in self-awareness. If we develop a practice of going inward daily, we develop the habit of listening to our thoughts and wisdom. The mind must be quiet in order to hear these messages, and once we understand this connection, loneliness disappears as we become whole within our own Self. Like a muscle, our minds need to be exercised so they are ready to be accessed any time we seek centering so it can direct the body to calm and the emotions to regulate. The daily practice of meditation is a key tool for staying grounded, even in the midst of our busiest days. 

Faith, religions, spiritual practices, social groups, community, and volunteer activities can link us to something bigger than ourselves, helping us pull our sometimes unfocused thinking, into a place of knowing and clarity. Joining with others can be powerful and uplifting, but it is always important to remain aware of your individual relationship with Self so as to avoid getting pulled into or lost in externally imposed dogma, beliefs, and opinions.  

Psychotherapy is another effective means by which individuals can extract their inner knowing within the safety of a therapeutic relationship. When clients are seen, heard, and validated, they feel accepted without judgment, and this supports them to create new responses to themselves and others. As clients build a trusting partnership with the therapist, who mirrors back to them their own experiences with compassionate and honest responses, healing begins. Over time, the client gains new insight and is encouraged to create the desired change by using self-awareness, emotional regulation tools, and new responses based on this emerging connection with Self. From here, we can explore how we need to live to feel good about ourselves despite the hurts, wounds, and mistakes from the past. When clients find the confidence to express their true nature and to live from this authentic framework consistently, they are living in self-awareness and intentionality. Living in and nurturing self-awareness is a process and one that requires discipline and commitment, and the process of psychotherapy is a very effective approach.

Journaling is another avenue of self-connection where our flow of consciousness can bypass restricted and limited thinking. A daily journaling practice helps us access our own desires and goals and to push forward toward them. It is a private place to vent and scream and to identify and manage our emotions in a safe way. When putting our thoughts and feelings on the page, we can diffuse the intensity of our feelings and gain perspective, so we can respond as needed in mature and authentic ways. This is a habit that builds our sense of self-esteem, rather than diminishing it. To be proud of ourselves and to be intentional in our behavior takes introspection and a commitment to align with our truth and express our best selves. 

Many people find insight and inspiration from others who share their awakenings and inner knowledge through books, blogs, podcasts, seminars, and workshops. This self-directed learning can provide daily inspiration, and everyone is encouraged to give it a try and see what resonates for them. The key act—awakening to our true nature, honoring it, and forming a relationship with ourselves that is healthy and loving—happens in the daily practice of nurturing Self-awareness. When we do this, we enjoy an inner strength and resilience that enables us to handle even the toughest circumstances. A daily practice and commitment to learning from our experiences is the natural place to begin the journey, and many helpful resources are available online or at local public libraries. 

The key to knowing if you are connecting with your true Self is to notice how you feel. Do you feel well? Do you feel at peace? Are you taking care of yourself in healthy and constructive ways? Are you managing your emotions and offering others your love, or are you projecting and expecting others to make you feel good? Are you self-sabotaging in small or large ways? Our sense of well-being is the compass that keeps us on true north, rather than spinning willy-nilly through life without direction. 

When a parent welcomes a child into the world with the intention of nurturing the authentic Self of the new baby, the child is given a priceless gift—the feeling of being valued, unique, and accepted. If we have Self-awareness as a parent, we commit to do our best every day, but also have compassion for ourselves and atone for our mistakes. We are human and learning as we move through life and the parenting journey. Few of us have had ideal parenting experiences and must come around to finding and maintaining a connection and relationship with ourselves with intention. How do we do this? 

When we look beneath the surface of our lives—beyond the material and physical aspects that often command so much of our attention—and contemplate our inner lives and inner selves, we quickly realize we each have our own personality and essence–a spirit which is created from an internal source. Our self-awareness journey will help us create a relationship with ourselves that honors and nurtures our own authenticity and growth. Careers, interests, hobbies, and relationships are part of who we are, but to each of these things we bring something else: our original perspective, viewpoint, and inner knowing. It takes a commitment to nurture this relationship with Self, and it is easy to lose sight of these things and forget to stay self-aware. The key is to notice the lapses when we make a mistake or hurt ourselves or someone else. Authentic living is about recognizing our errors, learning from them, apologizing to ourselves and others as necessary, and then redirecting ourselves back onto the path we choose. Life is full of detours, but in self-awareness we can direct our journey.